Magnets and Mindfulness
Every magnet contains two poles. So do we.
Magnets have both a north and a south pole. Slice one in half, then in half again, and each smaller magnet will still contain both poles. You cannot separate one from the other.
If we look closely at our human experience, we see that it contains not only the warm, cozy, pleasant parts, but the painful, yukky, prickly parts too.
To be human is to be like a magnet. Our lives, too, contain seemingly opposite poles.
Calm and anxiety
Joy and grief
Confidence and doubt
Hope and despair
When we try to cut ourselves off from one pole, we cut ourselves off from part of an authentically lived life.
Opposites aren’t enemies; they create a field.
There is an invisible tension between the poles. Without that relationship, there is no magnetic field.
In attempting to live mindfully there is a natural tension that comes from dynamic opposites. When we look closely, we can see this phenomenon in ordinary ways. Many of my yoga prompts invite observation of the invisible tension of opposites.
Effort and ease
Being and doing
Control and surrender
There is an in-between space capable of holding both/and. In that space, possibility lives.
Harry Potter fans might recognize another version of this in-between space: Platform 9¾. It exists between one reality and another; the ordinary and the extraordinary.
Back to magnets. They don’t just attract paper clips and iron shavings, they push away and repel. Bring in a second magnet and try to get the two north ends to connect. Impossible. Flip one to the south end and the attraction is unstoppable. Attraction and repulsion are both part of a magnet's nature. Neither is wrong. Both belong.
The same is true for us.
In human life, we cannot remain endlessly open, giving, and doing. Eventually, we burn out. But we cannot always say no, hide our heads in the sand, or disconnect either. That carries its own costs.
We have natural capacities for moving toward and pulling away. Awareness helps us discern when each is needed.
Boundaries and Connection
No! and Yes!
Strength and Vulnerability
Wisdom is knowing when to draw close and when to create space.
You can’t see magnet energy directly, but you can feel it. You can’t see your energy or that of others directly, but you can feel it. We may not be able to see what is happening inside another person, but we often feel its presence; a warmth, a tension, an openness, a pulling away.
Mindfulness is not about becoming just one pole; calm, peaceful, always having your shit together. It is about learning to hold the both/and of our experience without trying to suppress, turn from, or cut off one side. The moment we insist that one pole must disappear, the field of possibility begins to shrink. Platform 9¾ has just vanished.
Practice –
Bring to mind something mildly challenging.
Name the 2 poles:
a. Part of me feels…
b. Another part of me feels…
Notice what it is like to make room for both.
See if you can notice the part of you that is capable of observing both without having to immediately choose between them.
Perhaps wisdom is not found in choosing the right pole. Perhaps it is found in becoming spacious enough to hold both. Then discerning when life is asking us to move closer, step away, act, surrender, speak, or remain still.
A magnet remains whole because it contains both poles. So do we. Wisdom comes not from eliminating one side of our experience, but from learning how to live within the tension between all of the experience.
In-joy the tension of possibility.