Are You in There?

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Where do you locate the part you call “me”?

Point to yourself. Look where your finger is directed.

Most people point somewhere around the chest. Very rarely the head. That is fascinating territory by itself. We instinctively sense there is a someone in there. Do we intuitively sense there is something about ‘me’ that feels more heart-centered than head-centered? Maybe.

Have you ever noticed all the thoughts, emotions, sensations, memories, roles, and stories that roll around inside you and believed them to be you? Do you think all that stuff comes together to make up the true you?

Consider that all those pieces may shape the you who moves through the world, but they are not really you at all.  They are objects, stuff, nouns that can be observed, noticed and named. These things are part of your lived experience, but they are not the whole of you.

Let’s try an experiment.  Lift your eyes from the screen and name the first thing you see, say it out loud just for impact. “Computer”. Great! An object has been named and known. 

Now answer this question: Are you the computer (or whatever was named in your experiment)?

Did you just say, “Duh! Of course, not silly.” Well done! Now keep playing along.  In relationship to the thing you named, what is your role? (hint – there are a few correct answers).

If you said,

• I am the observer of the thing

• I am the noticer of the thing

• I am the witness of the thing

• I am awareness, aware of the thing

Voila!  You are correct! 

Now let’s apply this new learning on a previous consideration – all those thoughts, emotions, sensations, memories, roles, and stories rolling around inside you. I’ll invite you to consider again: Are you all that stuff inside you?

If you answered, ‘Of course they’re me!’ you may be identifying with them more tightly than you need to.

If you answered, ‘They’re part of my experience, but maybe not all of who I am’, you’re getting very warm.

Just like you are not the computer (or thing you named), you are the observer of it, the one who sees.  You are more than the stuff rolling around inside of you. You are also the container holding it all; the observer capable of seeing and naming what is here.

Can you sense the freedom in that perspective shift?  It is a distinctive new lens through which to view all life stuff.

For example, if I can notice anxiety, then anxiety is something I am experiencing, not all of who I am.

• I notice anger arising. I am not required to become anger.

• I notice the story my mind is telling. I am not required to believe every word of it.

• I notice an old story about who I am. I am not required to keep living from it.

This raises an intriguing question: if thoughts, emotions, sensations, and even our stories can all be observed…who or what is doing the observing?

Somewhere between noticing and reacting, a little space appears. And within that space lives choice.

Perhaps awareness - the observer, noticer, witness - is not another thing inside us, but the spacious capacity in which our experiences appear and disappear. Perhaps awareness is closer to our true nature than our thoughts, emotions, and sensations.

At the very least, we can recognize that there is an aspect of us capable of noticing what we are experiencing without becoming completely identified with the experience.

When we stop confusing what we are experiencing with who we are, we gain room to respond more wisely.

Contemplation:  What have you been calling “me” that might actually be something you are simply experiencing, carrying, remembering, or believing?

In-joy you.