Resistance: The Hidden Drain on Our Energy, Part 2
Photo by Chris Boland on Unsplash
Softening the Fight With Reality
If Part 1 felt a little too familiar, you’re not alone.
Most of us don’t realize how much energy goes into resisting life until we begin to notice the tension it creates.
So here’s the natural question:
If resistance is exhausting, why do we keep doing it?
Because the mind believes resistance equals control. And mindfulness gently teaches something radical:
Acceptance is not resignation. It is clarity.
What Acceptance Really Means
Acceptance does not mean:
approving of everything
giving up
becoming passive
tolerating harm
Acceptance simply means acknowledging reality as it is before deciding what to do next.
Without acceptance, we react. With acceptance, we respond.
It’s the difference between fighting the current in the stream or learning how to swim in it or float with it.
The Practice of “Feel and Deal”
One of the simplest shifts is moving from avoidance to what I call:
Feel — then deal.
Notice what is here (emotion, situation, thought).
Allow the body to register it.
Then choose your next wise action.
Mindfulness doesn’t remove discomfort. It removes the extra suffering created by resistance.
Three Gentle Experiments With Letting Go of Resistance
1. Name the Argument
When stress rises, quietly ask: What am I arguing with right now?
Often the answer is simple:
This shouldn’t be happening.
They shouldn’t act this way.
I shouldn’t feel like this.
Just naming the resistance softens it.
2. Drop From Head to Body
When you notice overthinking, pause and feel:
your feet on the earth
your breath moving within you
your hands resting beside you
The body lives in the present. Resistance mostly lives in thought.
3. Allow One Inch of Space
You don’t have to accept everything all at once. Just experiment with allowing one inch more space around the experience. When you breathe air into a balloon you create space. Breathe into yourself the same way for the same reason.
Not to find agreement. Not to find approval. Just to experience less fighting against, the boxing gloves are off.
The Paradox
Here’s the quiet irony:
When we stop resisting sadness, it moves.
When we stop resisting uncertainty, creativity appears.
When we stop resisting joy, life expands.
Energy returns, not because circumstances changed, but because the internal struggle has softened.
A Closing Reflection
Mindfulness is not about becoming endlessly calm or perfectly accepting.
It’s about recognizing where we are tightening against life and then gently loosening our grip.
You don’t have to force acceptance. You only have to notice where you are fighting reality and then ask whether the fight is still necessary.
Sometimes the greatest relief comes not from fixing life, but from finally meeting it.
In-joy softening,
Debbie